Ghost
by AniLouBenz
Summary: While Leonardo is in South America, he has let himself become two entities sharing one body: Leonardo and the "Ghost". A brief glimpse into Leonardo's inner monologue with himself. 2007 movie, TMNT.


I've spent several months too long here, I know I have. Each day I count as it passes, another tally to the total. It's nothing but a habit now, the days mean little anymore.

My name is Leonardo. Hamato Leonardo. Or it used to be.

They call me the "Ghost" in the local villages, a nickname that spread and stuck. I don't mind, in fact it's kind of fitting. They don't know me; they don't know who I am, and that's a good thing. To them I am their protector; to their enemies I am a force they fear to cross. That is all I'll ever be. The "Ghost".

Among the trees, it's so easy to lose myself to my nickname. It's so easy to leave Leonardo behind. He and I are separate here, two people living thousands of miles apart. I don't speak with him often these days; I barely acknowledge him at all. I am the "Ghost", nothing more.

But now, as I stoke the fire in my sanctuary, Leonardo presses his thoughts upon me, his voice a faint whisp of air echoing off the cave walls:

_"What about your family?"_

My family...I think of them now and again. Mainly when their letters reach me, but those have become far in between and so has my reflection on them.

I dream of them. I dream happy dreams where they are safe and have forgotten me like I'd asked. Those are always tinged with a bit of sadness- not from me, from Leonardo. Every now and again, other, horrifying dreams play out in my sleep. Nightmares where my brothers have become so disjointed they cannot defend themselves. I wake to them screaming for Leonardo with Karai's katana at their throats or Stockman's scalpel piercing their restrained forms. Sometimes it's Donny, or Mikey, seldom times would it be Raph or-God forbid- Master Splinter himself.

_Donatello...I wonder what he's been up to these days. Knowing him, he's probably on the verge of finding a cure for cancer. God knows he's smart enough, and so damn compassionate towards humanity's well being._ I chuckle at the thought, envisioning Donny hard at work in his lab, beads of sweat forming on his forehead because his brain is whirling so fast. So dedicated and brilliant, yet still so much of a big kid.

Thinking of big kids..._Mikey's got to have driven them all crazy by now. Maybe he's not like that anymore. Who am I kidding? Mikey is Mikey, he'll never change completely._ Bitter sweet memories come to me: a Little Mike eating a whole pizza for the first time when we were four, a ten-year-old Mikey discovering video games when we'd found a discarded GameCube at the dump, and another, older Mikey curled up in bed with his teddy bear the morning I left. _Who reminds you monsters aren't real when your old fear of the dark flares up and keeps you from sleeping, Mike? Do you still cower when Don needs to stitch your wounds? Who talks you through it? Surely Raph wouldn't have that kind of patience..._

Raphael...I hear his voice hissing in my ear while I mediate. "Don't bather comin' back...Ya shoulda been home ages ago, but I guess what ya want is more 'mportant than us...If somethin' happens 'cause you're not here, it'd be all yer fault...Ya coward, ya can't bring yerself t' face Splinter, can ya?" Those words bit me every time they popped back in my head. Yet, it was so like Raph to say things like that, I refused to let it get to me too much. Raph is so defensive, getting angry has been his way of showing he's hurting inside since as long as I can remember. _I hope your not causing too much trouble, Brother. Master Splinter has always been able to handle you for the most part, but still, I hope you haven't been reckless..._

The thought of Master Splinter brought me up short. _Oh Sensei, are you disappointed in me? Have...have I failed you? _Imagining the sadness, the deep betrayal in my father's eyes, was almost too much for me to bear_._ I buried my face in my hands, pure, stabbing shame tearing at my heart. _Maybe that's why Sensei no longer speaks to me over our spiritual connection...Maybe he's too ashamed...to even acknowledge that I am his son._

_"Or maybe he's waiting for you, like he always did when you'd go on a mission, with arms ready to welcome you home."_

_Perhaps he'd welcome_ you_ home, but not me. You and I are different now._

_"We are one and the same, as we always have been."_

_I am the "Ghost", they don't know me. No one knows me._

_"I know you. I have always known you, as you have always known me. Our family needs us."_

Your_ family needs you. I am nothing but a warrior; it is you they want back._

_"We've learned much while we have been here. Now, we are far better than we were before. They'll need _you_ to lead them. You are their _leader_, that is who you have been since our beginning. They are _our_ family. They crave, not only _me_, their brother, but also_ you_, their leader."_

_What if they_ don't_ want us back?_

_"They won't want me back; they'll hate me for leaving them so long. I am the one they will blame, their brother and son, not you. It's me that allowed us to become two entities within the same body; I gave you absolute power."_

_I never wanted this. I wanted to be stronger and protect the villagers here. I wanted to be stronger to protect my..._our _family._

_"I know, I wanted that too. But now...it's time for us to return; it's time for Hamato Leonardo, brother and leader, to once again be the turtle we are meant to be."_

_Even if they reject us?_

_"...Yes, even if they reject us..."_

**We have to go home.**

"Hello?"

What? Someone in the middle of the jungle? I stood from the dirt floor of my cave.

"LEO?"

That voice...was it my imagination, like so many times before?

"HELLO?"

No, this is real.

_"She's come to bring us home."_

_Are ...are we ready?_

_"...Let's find out."_

_Yes, but more importantly..._

**There are so many questions I want to ask.**

I could hear her approaching, like an elephant in the otherwise quiet jungle. She was heading this way, I sensed her footfalls against the earth above. I could hear her breathing, picture her scanning the trees, blindly drawing closer to the secret entrance to the cave. Readying myself, I opened my arms as my life fell, quite literally, from the sky.

"It's a long way from the city to just drop in," I said to April  
O'Neil, a smile crossing my face.

* * *

A/N: I dedicate this to All-Day-Anime, for bringing me back to writing fanfiction! :)

If Leo's inner monologue confused you, let me know!

By the way, I do not own TMNT.


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